128.

So in the last few weeks of my life I have learned a lot about myself: some of it good, some of it not so good. I learned that I can be self-sufficient, I can be healthy, I can be frugal, I can overcome failure, and I am human. I've realized that people always are in rotation in your life, and that the as timeless as your life can see there is so much world happening around you. I have learned that what you thought you wanted is the exact opposite, and that things never turn out exactly perfect and that's the beauty of life. I've learned that as much as you want them, or don't want them the universe is constantly giving you signs on how to live, how to love, and that everything really does happen for a reason. I've realized that being alone is really eye-opening and that you have to love yourself before you begin to think about loving someone else. I realized that you do fail sometimes, and if you lose sight of what's important you can lose you're sanity. I've realized that sitting back and breathing sometimes is really really really important. I've realized that although it's okay to have a breaking point, you have to have the level head to pick yourself off the floor. That I can't be so desperate, I can't be always on the prowl, and that opportunity will find me, it's sort of the definition of it. I realized that time sensitivity is more important than you think. If you can't be with a person when you want to, it's probably never going to happen. And if it does, it's because you've grown into people that also want each other. I realized that I'm growing up, and my perspective on the world is showing, even though I still have rosy colored glasses perched on my freckled nose. I realized that friends are worth more than the world, and that parents can be what causes you to lose it, but also what keeps you together. I've realized that cherishing a cool breeze is just as important as cherishing a first kiss, or an unexpected giggle, or a song that catches you by surprise and puts words to everything you're feeling. I've realized that life is too short to hold hate, resentment, or grudges. That sleep remedies everything, and what sleep can't help: a good workout, a nice cry, a hot shower, a warm meal, a funny movie, and a best friend can. And what i've realized most of all: is that there are things I can't plan for. I've been planning my life for as long as I can remember, but the best things happen by accident, eventually. And if you think you're ready for something, if it's not happening you're probably not. And that life is unpredictable as the weather, in July in Montreal.