55.

there's something therapeutic about your favorite movie. I don't know what it is... but every time i watch pride and prejudice Elizabeth Bennett has something new to teach me, some new tidbit of information pertinent to my life. The movie never changes, and the audience never changes--usually myself, vivian, a box of tissues, and some brownies, but everything else is different. I feel that the only proof that I"m maturing and changing is when I view Lizzie in that two hour slice of her life and mine. We meet once again, and i cry and she finds true love, and I am evermore giddy at the end, every time. I think to prove it's always different, is the fact that I always cry at a different part in the movie. Either, the beginning because of previous circumstances, the middle because of it's beauty and delicacy (how one can feel love through the touch of a hand) or that famous walk through the field. I know I may, and very well do sound corny, and every word i say in this post is dripping with romance and hope, but it's the way a favorite movie effects me, you, all of us. In my case, I'm a mess of mushy goodness on the floor, but Lizzie always does me justice.
I'm saying this not because it is my present state, but because once again Lizzie and I will meet in the middle of the field and on the top of the mountain, her strife the same, but mine always different. Sooner, rather than later.


I'll be having a lot more time, you know, to blog and talk and read, and watch Lizzie, because of my broken nose. Yes, you read right, broken nose. Field hockey is such a safe sport, isn't it. Or is it just me that's too fragile, ah. i know not.

Homework, rain, and pjs, Valerie.

P.S. if you haven't read or seen Pride and Prejudice, i strongly recommend it... and buy the soundtrack, it's beautiful.

P.S.S. and I'm obsessed : listen.

54.

I'm such a trendmonster, i mean i don't mean to blow my own horn here, but i try really hard to look good. Everyday [i remember], while putting my looks on chictopia... :)

and sometimes i'll add my thoughts on random things too.

53.

miso for happiness?





NBD!
i haven't posted in awhile... but now i am, and i apologize for the lull. People around me will tell you that my response to everything has been "not a big deal" or "shit happens"... well because life is too short to make stupid things that happen dictate you're life, or consume your attention. Not many things are a big deal and i've learned that while growing up. Ever since i was younger i would worry and consume myself with things that happened or could happen. So much, i've learned, is living for the hear and now. Just love, and laugh, as corny and ridiculous that sounds. In the last days of my fleeting summer were dancing to funky music with a random burst of emotion, simple but magical kisses in the dead of night, and knowing there's a best friend on the other end of the telephone who loves you, have been moments that i relive even now. This realization, just that you can't plan life--it just happens, has pretty much loosened the tightly wound mess that was valerie all through highschool.



"Who says I can't be free
From all of the things that I used to be
Rewrite my history
Who says I can't be free"

In the early night air, listening to battle studies and april uprising... all i want to know is raw and simple, life.

so much is pointless, the "big deal" is bliss... and i'm getting there, valerie.

52.

Because I was watching Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, one of my absolute favorite movies...( i just bought it on itunes) I decided to post an entry, for Joel because he hadn't posted in awhile either.

My last few days, have been the biggest, wildest rollercoaster i could ever imagine. i have no idea how to deal with it, being me. Awkward, and consistently inconsistent (my namesake) I cannot fathom my life right now. My friends, my acquaintances and even people i wish not to confine with labels (you know who you are)... have all been changing roles, and i have been changing with them. With my senior year of high school dawning fast, it seems as though my head is spinning so fast i don't have my feet on the ground anymore, but am floating in a warm fuzzy cloud, usually wrapped in sweet dream. Maybe my memory was fucked with. Who knows. All i know is today was probably one of the most boring days of summer 2010, but i felt so many different emotions i wanted to burst. Internally combust. I screamed about 5 million times (5 times) and it has shown me, that nothing can be expected and everything is a surprise.

Sorry the details are hazy, but Dr. Mierzwiack even has his own life happening around him.

Can't plan life, because shit will always happen.







Clementine knows what the fuck is up:
"Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours."







Here's the playlist ringing in the clouds:
"So So"--Gary Go
"Crush"--Aidan Hawken
"Dig with me"--Allie Moss
"Love Love Love"--Caitlin Crosby
"In the Bathroom is Where i Want You"--Nightmare of You
"Gold Lion"--Yeah Yeah Yeahs
"Fur"--Blizten Trapper
"Wide Eyes"--Local Natives
"That's All" -- Absent Elk
"Middle of Nowhere"--Hot Hot Heat
"The Ocean"--The Bravery
"Vienna"--Billy Joel
"Ca Plane Pour Moi"--Plastic Bertrand
"If You're Gone"--Matchbox Twenty.
"New Soul"--Yael Naim
"You Make My Dreams Come True"-- Hall & Oates

Making sense of living, Valerie.

51. CONTAINS SPOILERS

Cupcakes make me happy (:
this news, however does not:
So, my friends, and fellow bloggers, your adored blogger, Valerie, (also known affectionately as VALUHREE) has made herself out to be an idiot. By misusing grammar in an email to her highly regarded english teacher. NBD, or at least i'm not admitting so. Not Yet.


Slightly more prevalent is the awesomeness that is inception. Mind=Blown.

Well I apologize for my slightly shortened post this evening, but i'm so sleep deprived that i can't think straight, trust me i just tried to have a cohesive conversation with my father and best friend.

Fried,
Valerie.

xoxo


P.S. Oh wow, i completely forgot: i started and finished a book today, Diary by my favorite Chuck Palahniuk. He sort of is like the really raw and twisted voice in the back of everyones head... the same place the lice like to lay their eggs.
So as a tribute to Mr. Palahniuk here are some of my favorite quotes from the book plus me taking a picture with the beat down library version.
"Inspiration needs disease, injury, madness" (Palahniuk 65).
"Everything you do shows your hand" (137).
"The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will" (198).



I will use these quotes later, they kind of are inspiring but dreadful at the same time, like a heart wrenching movie where the protagonist dies, dies heroically and still inspired others. (SPOILER!) Like Owen Meany.

So this is more of a thought entry, I have a book review to post from Valerie's summer reading list (Diary) and a new Me Vocab list, yeah i do. I won't be doing any reflections on summer reading books for school because 1. i don't want to spoil it, and 2. i'll have to do many more reflections later on, anyway.

So now that we are on about P.S.S.S.S.S. or something of the like, i'd just like to point out the character of old things, i like them so much. I'd rather get used books off amazon, or go to the library because someone else held those pages in their hands and felt the same thing, like some how everyone is connected because we read the same version of the same book. And because of this connection, it bridges somemany gaps between time and space and generations. Which is what Palahniuk usually writes about, immortality and the connections between human beings. Makes sense i'm reading a library book, doesn't it then?

But i'll write more about Diary later. I think i'll read invisible monsters if It's kind of a funny story doesn't come in.

Reading List: handwritten in Pretty COLORED PENS!
(yes i realize it's backwards)

50.

Wow, half of a hundred. I apologize for not only the profanity in my last post but the way in which my mood quickly took a turn for the bitter. In retrospect, it seems odd that me, personally interjected my mood into my blog like that. Usually, i am the quiet one, the girl that never admits when something makes her angry or upset, but if you don't know me there are two things that you can not, under any circumstance insult: my weight and my intelligence.
So, it happened. someone who i believe to be a tad arrogant called me an idiot. Something snapped and it did not end well because it was not an isolated incident. This individuals continuing... dejection at the expense of others infuriated me. In a state of lividity there will be casualties, i believe. So i brought in "unrelated" subjects, that *oh no!* made him uncomfortable. He labeled me a martyr and once again others continued to come to his defense. I refuse to rationalize my feelings.

It's done.
and i'm obviously at fault because i'm a drama-queen, right?

49.

I'm so fucking sick of shit. If my "friends" are going to make me feel like shit and attack every aspect of what i say, i don't think i should have
A. valued them as friends in the first place
or B. given them the benefit of the doubt that they can judge me


If all they have to judge my intelligence on is my use of abbreviations, they obviously don't have enough people skills/ enough encounters to gauge one's intelligence.
Enough is enough. Fuck them all, if they don't have what i like to say then they don't deserve to listen. Over it. Done.
Even if one of them is my best friend, her boyfriend is a fucking arrogant asshole that i never want apart of. Chicks before dicks.

If i am going to get abused, i'd rather have been lonely all along.


How i never wished i went to the movies,
Valerie

" I am now evinced of the inexorable dejection within an unspeakable's nature, and i wish to cull it from my life."

How about them apples. bitches.