I'm not going to beat around the bush here: I'm lonely, meta-lonely, I'm coming to this realization that my existence has no extreme bearing on my life, and I've only known these people for what.... a few months. I have been really happy: that is very true I've been experiencing a new facet of independence: I'm an adult in an adult world, and that scares me to death. But furthermore it excites me, except then I realize that the only people who know me as this mature person are the ones i've just met.
I miss home. I miss my parents, I miss my friends, I miss my High School, I miss my teachers, I miss the useless crushes I had to keep me sane, I miss having shoulders to cry on: I feel like I can't cry here, I haven't yet: which is uncharacteristic of me: my eyes feel strangely dry and I feel strangely indifferent. I miss feeling completely secure in my relationships because we had fallen into a habit together, a routine of consistent love. I miss that: I miss not failing in the romantic department for one, too. I mean that might be of my own fruition or there's but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. (Not that I had perfect relationships at home either)
"I'm an addict for dramatics
I confuse the two for love"
Missing everything. But also not, strangely in the in-between, V.
