I had the BEST day on SUNDAY!!! It was so amazing. I saw where i want to live, those cute studio apartments. I've never been afraid to live in a small place. The atmosphere is just so wonderful, so inviting and new. I can't help but love it. I want so badly to be part of that scene, the chic new yorker. And on top of all that, i got to eat at my favorite restaurant, Raj Mahal. So, as you can see. I saw Equus (and it was simply amazing). The whole double story was what really interested me.That both Alan, the Main character, and the psychiatrist were questioning themselves, their passion, their beliefs.Or you know, were deemed that way by society and they all had a sharp chain in their mouth that wasn't coming out.I mean everyone has that chain you know. You're bound by morals, society, rules, everything.
My aunt happens to be bound by her medical condition in conjunction with her smoking. I bring this up now, because I found out today she had... lit herself on fire. Not on purpose, to my knowledge but just because of her helplessness and loneliness. Well, what happens kind of goes like this... seeing as i have to start from the beginning, even though this story (at this point) does not have a happy ending.
My aunt is a chain-smoker and an alcoholic. She has psoriasis (a skin disease). Like a cause and effect story, she took medication for her skin. This medication clearly was marked "do not drink or smoke while taking this medication" which, apparently she ignored. Then she started to fade away. Her motor skills completely gone, complete with slurred speech cooped up in a wheel chair, my aunt started her down-hill slide. She saw various doctors, none knew what was wrong with her. and still... she continued to drink and smoke.
Then, today, she was smoking a cigarette in her apartment, and dropped it, lighting her mattress on fire. My uncles was out working and came home to a smoking apartment. She now is in the burn unit, and my family has no idea if she'll survive or not with her weak immune system. My family completely feels guilty, every single member. Could i have done something? Could I have saved her? Whispers of disbelief and screams of worry are all that are discussed. Her arms and hands are badly burned, she's in the burn unit.
I don't want a "sorry valerie", or a "I can't believe it" because i don't want sympathy. I wanted to tell someone, so why not tell... everyone?
I feel horrible for thinking this but... she had it coming. I mean we all have death coming, but to tempt it as she did?
well, she's not dead yet. let's hope it stays that way.
Back to the chains, i guess topic? all humans, all things are in so many chains! Why must we be enslaved within societies and condemned to horrible habits of human nature? Like Equus (the latin word for horse) we should be free. We should break those links, in our mouths, and stop the choking on unrealistic expectations of society.
Choking on Chains, V.
