10

Today, was just tests. Mundane and annoying, sitting in a room full of pencil scribbles and rustling in seats. It was so... lonely. there were so many people in the room but the silence floated over, the atmosphere occasionally broken by the dropping of a calculator or pen. The only company you have is steady moving progress through the test and your own wandering mind. My wandering mind scares me sometimes. It's too, boundless and gratifying. 

I've been listening to "Warning Sign" by coldplay non-stop, but i can't help but thinking: What do i miss? Who do i miss. It seems that most people in my life are right at my side. But i still feel so alone. I guess its because I'm constantly at battle. My rational mind versus my ridiculous heart. But who can really fight their nature, and what arms do i have to crawl back into? I just burry my feelings because i know they're disgusting and pathetic until i explode, at the inconvenience of my walls and parental units. I think the isolation is working out for me. But the silence lets my mind wander; dangerous business it is when your confused and dreaming. From tests, to work, to sitting home alone, has been so depressing, and pathetic. Sometimes, i feel comfort from myself, i've come to realize how awesome solitude can be. Introspect FTW. 

Later. V